I would love to think that I'm not an insecure person. In fact, I'm pretty confident. A tough chick. Rock-hard exterior (except for those abs). Got it going on.
And I have to say, the older I get the less I care what people think about me. Unless you count how many times I go to the "stats" and "comments" section of my blog to see if anyone's reading and what they think.
But sometimes I regress to being a 16-year-old girl again. A friend doesn't call and I think, Did I say something to upset her? Or I see what my counterparts back in the working-and-getting-paid world are doing and I feel like I need to justify being just a mom. As if there were really a such thing as being just a mom.
Don't you love that introductory question: Very nice to meet you! So, what do you do? I used to be able to answer that pleasantry with a pretty cool and important sounding gig. Now my reply is generally some hemming and hawing while I try to come up with something better than pack lunches, change diapers and try to keep the children from riding the dog like a horse.
And let's not get started about women and how we obsess about our appearances. Weight. Clothes. Botox. Hair. I mean, when was the last time you saw a woman with gray hair? (Men, on the other hand, seem to just embrace the hair thing. It starts to fall out and they just shave it all off. Then they grow cool facial hair to balance out the whole look.)
Women are just genetically predisposed to looking at ourselves in the mirror and feeling slightly inferior. And I think all those E! Top 50 Beach Bodies specials really help, too.
So I'm really excited about a new book that came out today from Author/Speaker/Big-Haired-Southern-Bible-Scholar-Extraordinaire Beth Moore. So Long, Insecurity promises to be a great read, prompt some great discussion with friends and probably a little navel-gazing.
I love me some Beth Moore. I love that she gets more Southern the longer she talks. I love that she's the Oprah of the Bible Belt--we all just know that if we met her, she'd be our best friend. I love that she is a brilliant woman, who digs deep. I love that she knows the Ultimate Truth in Life: Tan fat just looks better than white fat. And that she can dig deep and spout off that Profound Wisdom in the same breath.
I'm hoping this book doesn't, in the words of a good friend, help me discover insecurities I didn't even know I had. I'm too well aware of the ones I can count on my fingers and toes.
What I think--I hope--I will do is grow up a little bit more. Be more confident in my choices. Be more understanding with my friends. Know that who I am in God is more important than who I am in the eyes of the red carpet fashion police.
Beth's going to be leading her book as a study on her blog, as we read a couple of chapters a week and think about a few questions. I'll be there.
I mean, who can resist a Southern girl with a spray tan and a Bible?